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How to Choose a Counselor for your Child

How to Choose a Counselor for your Child

School is out for the first semester, and maybe your child is struggling with a transition or an issue that needs some outside help. That’s when a counselor might be the answer. A good counselor can help someone work through challenges, problems and sorting out life’s pressures.

There are some important things to consider when choosing who will work with your child. Make sure you have an initial phone consultation with any potential counselor and find out the following:

1) Availability – Some counselors book appointments only during work hours, and others offer weeknight and weekend hours to accommodate school, sports and other activities. Some counselors offer in-home or distance counseling options as well.

2) Specialization – Make sure the counselor is adept in the specific area you need. Does your child have anxiety, depression or a substance use issue? Do you need someone with experience with eating disorders? Children under age 10 usually benefit from someone who is a Registered Play Therapist. Ask a counselor upfront about their area(s) of specialization.

3) Payment – Find out about the payment options offered by the counselor or counseling practice – do they take insurance or are they cash-pay only? And what payment types are accepted? Some counselors (such as myself) offer discounts for military or first responders. I also offer discounts for multiple, pre-paid sessions. Don’t be afraid to ask if there are options for discounts.

4) Consistency – The therapeutic process is maximized when there is consistency. Make sure you are willing – and able – to commit to a regular appointment schedule. Oftentimes, people make the mistake of thinking that one or two appointments here and there are enough. A lot happens in the weekly life of a child or teenager!  Regular, scheduled appointments will help bring the best results.

5) Credentials – Be careful with this one. Vet the credentials of any potential counselor. Some people take “online certification” courses and call themselves a counselor. Make sure yours holds a minimum of a Master’s Degree and is licensed to practice in in the state where you live. You can verify credentials at any Department of State Health Services’s website.

Above all, make sure your child is comfortable with the counselor they visit. The therapeutic relationship will work only if your child feels the counselor is someone they can work with and confide in. Good luck with your search!

Blog Post: Knock-Out Roses & Resilience

Blog Post: Knock-Out Roses & Resilience

When I moved to Texas from the north 13 years ago, I had no idea what plants worked in the hot climate and Hill Country rocky soil. So I did what any good Yankee would do and went to the local nursery to find out. This black thumb (and I mean, I can kill a plant just by looking at it) asked the worker that saw me wandering lost and clueless among the aisles of unknown shrubs for the most resilient Texas plant.

Knock-out roses, she said. You can’t kill ’em even if you tried.

Watch me, I promised.

But she was right. We bought some knock-out roses, red ones, and boy were they resilient. They thrived and grew despite how much or how little water or sun or attention they got, and they were beautiful. Every house I’ve owned in Texas (and there have been three so far) I have planted them because, well, even I can keep them alive, no matter what.

I see these roses daily, in my own yard and on my runs throughout various areas and neighborhoods. They bring me such pleasure, especially knowing how hard they need to work to survive.

I talked about these roses with a client the other day. This client has experienced some particularly horrific life events, more in her young 18 years than most have in a lifetime. This client’s story is one that could have gone in a way different direction, but instead, this client is graduating high school and heading off to college and planning a future that is greatly unknown but wide open with possibility.

In our session, this client was running down on what she perceived to be negative qualities, such as “I’m self-destructive in relationships,” “People don’t like me as much as I like them,” “I hate most of my appearance,” and so on and so forth.

You need to give yourself credit, I replied. I compared her to a knock-out rose – resilient under the most trying of circumstances, and even thriving through it all. That’s a gift that you have, I told this client, and something that no one can ever take away – the ability to persevere and keep growing despite everything and everyone else.

At the end of the session, she was smiling. “I guess I am pretty resilient,” she said. “I hate that I always have to be, but I am.” We talked about where resilience can take you in life, and how she has already, unknowningly, applied it to her own life in many different areas.

I know I will think about this client every time I see those roses. And I know that she’ll be okay, no matter what comes her way.  (more…)